Oh, Where to start??

So, I'm sitting on my bed, really needing to go to sleep.
Up until the last ten minutes, this has been the most fantastic weekend ever.
Why is it that his ex still gets to me?
Long story short. I'm can be very insecure. Bryan was around for a long weekend, and he was signed into his msn account on his laptop(he leaves it here for me to use). Well, I hopped on the laptop to blog a bit before bed and there is an IM from her saying she left him a voicemail. Why can't I just leave well enough alone, and not worry about it? Of course I would like to know what she wanted, and if he talks to her often. He probably doesn't really, but I guess I wouldn't know. Anyway, I know he doesn't want to be with her. Believe me, I know my thoughts are irrational most of the time. I'm not really sure why I have the thoughts that I do.

So, I'm feeling shitty about that.

While we did have this fabulous weekend, it involved alot of food. I don't wanna know how much I ate this weekend. Four days of not really "scarfing" but very rich foods. I want... I NEED to get back to my regular way of living. Not only that... but I need to have that regular way of living while I'm with him. We can't have this destructive way of living be with us for the rest of our lives.

I'm feeling shitty about that too.

I'm also bumming about some news that I got about my paycheck. It was cut in half because apparently people don't realize that I need money to pay the bills.

Everything just makes me want to eat more and more.

I'm thinking that I'm just really looking forward to getting back to normal. My alarm clock is set to wake me up in enough time to take a walk in the morning before getting ready for work. Just gotta get my ass in gear


  1. Sorry about the ex. That sucks. Hopefully the situation will resolve itself with time. As far as the emotional eating, SP sent me this this morning.


    It's a whole article about just that. It's tough to not fall into the "fat and happy" trap when you get in a good relationship. I have gained 40 lbs since I met my husband b/c we used to eat out all the time and all we wanted to do was to sit on the couch and enjoy each other. It's OK to have a bad food weekend every now and then (I did this weekend too actually) but we just have to get back on the wagon come Monday. Good luck. I know you can do it!

  2. I just gotta say, you're awesome. It's so nice to get some positive feedback from things that I feel and write out. It's definitely difficult not to fall into the sitting on the couch enjoying eachother thing... It's the toughest. We're trying to find more things to do, and it seems to be working a bit. I'm gonna head to this link just as soon as I finish this comment. I'm sure it will be good to read. :)
    Thanks again for the support!

  3. Any time. I really appreciate your support too =) Its nice to be able to talk to someone who really gets it. Hubby is very supportive but is has always been thin so he does not really understand.